"And Now, Let's End This Meeting on a High Note!"

This being Bastille Day, I've been humming La Marseillaise most of the day. And when I'm not humming it, I've been singing it. Out loud.

I learned the words in my high school French class. And from that great scene in "Casablanca."

Thank God I work alone on Tuesdays. Anyone who worked near me today would have killed me. And since it's le quatorze juillet, they probably would have taken me to the guillotine. Just like Marie Antoinette.

Ah, la révolution and Marie Antoinette. I think one of my idols, Charles Pierce, said it best.

Marie Antoinette...

"She wasn't the only queen in history to lose her head over a basket, y'know."

"Seems Like Old Times"

Check this out.

io9 just posted this scene that was cut from the theatrical release of Watchmen.

If you saw the movie but never read the graphic novel...

...Well, first of all, "Why?!? Read the graphic novel. It's friggin' GENIUS!!!"...

...this scene happens just after the second Nite Owl and the second Silk Spectre have busted Rorschach out of jail.

A group of street thugs hear about this and mistake the first Nite Owl for the one responsible for freeing Rorschach. They bust into his apartment, and...

Well, watch the scene...



Note: YouTube won't allow me to embed the damn video- - some automatic setting from grabbing the video on io9 apparently... which sucks - - so I'm stuck with the crappy blogger video embedding. Click here to watch it on io9's site.

I love this scene. And I loved the film, unlike so many fanboys. The flashbacks of 40's supervillains in the clip above show just how much care and love went into this movie.

I can't wait to own it on dvd. Next week!

"Rainbows I'm Inclined to Pursue"

I've been searching the web for a clip of Judy Garland singing "Call Me Irresponsible," because, after listening to the lyrics...

...really listening the lyrics and not just thinking the song is great because it has a good beat and you can dance to it...

...I now realize that it's the theme song for my entire life. Come on...

"Call me irresponsible
Yes, I'm unreliable
But it's undeniably true
That I'm irresponsibly mad for you"

Yep, that pretty much sums up my "How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!" way of life. It's my mantra, actually.


And even though Jackie Gleason sang "Call Me Irresponsible" in a movie, and Frank Sinatra famously recorded it, and Bobby Darin really swung it, and Michael Bublé stole a lot of Bobby's version and a little of Frankie's version and dropped a cd with a lukewarm, bullshit version that is so much of a carbon copy, I refer to it as "sampling," I want to see and hear the Garland version. Which is, apparently, only available on the "Volume 5 dvd of "The Judy Garland Show."

I want the Garland version because I just read that, according to Mel Tormé, "Call Me Irresponsible" was written specifically for Judy to perform at a CBS dinner.

Judy had just signed with CBS to do "The Judy Garland Show" and if she actually did sing the song at the dinner (before she sang it on the show), it was probably an hilarious icebreaker of a performance.

Think about Judy the next time you hear Bublé sing this song like "Bobby Darin 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold"...

Think about how hilarious and biting those lyrics would be when sung to a room full of suits by a woman who was as famous for taking Dorothy over the rainbow and belting "The Man That Got Away" as she was infamous for her erratic behavior that resulted in her being fired from the films "Annie Get Your Gun," "Royal Wedding," and "Valley of the Dolls."

The "Valley of the Dolls" firing is my favorite. For two reasons.

First, before filming began on the picture, Judy appeared as a Mystery Guest on "What's My Line." After answering the panelists with only a clicker and a bell, discussing the flu she's suffering through and gushing about how much she "adores" her new son-in-law, Peter Allen (the Liza doesn't fall far from the Gumm tree, does it?), Judy delivers the greatest exit line in the history of broadcast television.

She mentions that she will be in "Valley of the Dolls," and as she rises to leave, she tells the audience that...

"I'm the only one in the book that doesn't take pills!"

Hilarious. Ironic. Genius. And yet, nothing compared to what she did after she was fired from "Valley of the Dolls" and replaced with Susan "I Want to Live!" "Among the Living" "With a Song in My Heart" Hayward.

You know that gold lamé pantsuit that Susan wears in the catfight between Helen Lawson and Neely O'Hara? Well, that was originally designed for Judy. One was made for her. She had tried on that gold lamé pantsuit and probably taken some test shots in it. And when she was fired from the film, Judy Garland stole that gold lamé pantsuit.

'Atta girl.

Not only did Judy steal that pantsuit, she wore it. In public. On stage. In concert. At the Palace!!!

This is why I love Judy Garland. Because at times, my life feels like her life. Well, my idea of what her life was like - - messy and unfocused, yet always thrilling and rarely if ever boring. At times irresponsible. Unpredictable. And what I love about her is that Judy didn't hide that part of her life, she made a parade of it.

Wearing a costume stolen from a movie you were fired from in concert at the Palace. Amazing.

Then again, where else was she going to wear a gold lamé pantsuit? There were no gay and lesbian proms back then. It was the Palace in concert or nothing.

"You Show Me Oscar Wilde in a Cowboy Suit and I'll Show You a Gay Caballero"

I've been downloading a ton of comedy albums lately.

I love to listen to them as I walk here and there in the city. Just so that I will bust out with one of my obnoxious horse-snorts of a laugh in public.

Laughing to a joke that no one else hears. It makes me even more of a freakish outcast. I kinda love it.

This morning, I'm listening to George Carlin's "Carlin at Carnegie" album and I had forgotten this quote...

"You show me a tropical fruit
and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala."

Hilarious. And stunningly true.

It's a much funnier version of something I say all when someone tells me about a violent homophobe...

"You show me a homophobic gay basher and
I'll show you a closeted cocksucker."

It's always the case, isn't it? George's quote is funnier, though.

I could use a tropical fruit right about now...

If You Can Use Some Exotic Booze, There's a Bar in Far Bombay"

I kept seeing this commercial over and over again today...



...and it annoys the fuck out of me.

First of all, I've heard that Sean "Puffy" Combs doesn't even DRINK this brand of vodka, since it isn't high-end and/or expensive enough for his oh-so-cultured taste.

Next, where did the "D" go in the word "vodka"? Sean seems to have lost it. And I'm a big fan of vodka, so when someone refers to my drink of choice as "vah-ka," it pisses me off.

But what really annoys me about this commercial is the use of Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly with Me." Puff Daddy (or P. Diddy or whatever the Hell you're calling yourself these days), no matter how much money you have, how many women you surround yourself with and how many tuxes you own, you will never be as cool, hip, hep and "with it" as Sinatra was. And still is. Ever.

I mean, the pairing of Frank Sinatra and Sean Combs is like Liza Minnelli becoming "besties" with Usher, which would be ridic... u.... lous...



Fuck.

Nevermind.

Fratboy Friday

After reading that Dennis DeYoung is writing the score for an upcoming stage musical version of "101 Dalmation's"...

...Sorry, I should have warned you before you read that...

...Did that cause a spit-take? Throw up in your mouth a little? I sure did...

...I can't get Dennis' sailing song out of my head.

The Eric Cartman version, of course.

BOYS IN CAPS


"I'm sailing away."





****




SAGGERS

"Set an open course..."




****




MOONERS

"...for the virgin sea"




****




DAMN, WAS I DRUNK LAST NIGHT

"On board, I'm the captain. So, climb aboard..."




Okay, that's it. We've had enough Dennis DeYoung for one day.

Don't judge. It could have been Christopher Cross.

"Will Someone Get This Big Walking Carpet Out of My Way?"

Remember The Empire Strikes Back?

Remember Luke Skywalker almost freezing to death on the ice planet of Hoth?

Remember Han Solo taking Luke's lightsaber, slicing open Luke's Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the Tauntaun's belly to keep him warm until help could arrive?

Well soon, you might be able to recreate that movie moment with your own Tauntaun Sleeping Bag.


This used to be a joke, but when geeks like me suddenly creamed all over themselves at the mere JOKE of a Tauntaun Sleeping Bag, manufacturers took notice.

If all goes well, in the next year or so, I might be the coolest kid at the slumber party when I walk in and unroll my Tauntaun Sleeping Bag.

The Tauntaun Sleeping Bag:
Gross Enough to Make You Cool. Cool Enough to Keep You Warm!

Why am I not in advertising? Why?!?

"But I Know One Thing, That I Love You"

If you're not watching The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, then you're not watching tv as far as I'm concerned.

Screw Conan, screw Kimmel, screw (the soon-to-be-back) Leno and honestly, screw Letterman. Just a little.

Craig Ferguson is the Johnny Carson of 21st century late night. He's doing things that no one else is doing and he's doing it without a band, without a sidekick, but with the kind of genius creativity that is seldom seen in mass entertainment these days.

For a long time, Ferguson opened with a monologue like every other late night comic. And we still get the monologue, but for some reason, CBS forced a 1 to 2 minute lead-in for The Late Late Show the second that Letterman ended. Maybe they wanted a short lead-in so they could get right to the commercials, who knows. But, Craig has taken that lead-in and turned it into the must-watch moment of the night for me. You never know what he's going to do.

For awhile, he did a short version of an opening monologue in the lead-in. Then, he started doing small comedy bits with random puppets. Lately, he's been lip syncing to songs with a few staff members and friends AND the puppets. It's a little piece of late night heaven..

For instance, this is what Craig did with the lead-in last night. This is Duran Duran's cover of the original Grand Master Flash hit "White Lines"...




My favorite lead-in lip sync came a few months ago. Same idea but this time, set to Michael Franti and Spearhead's "Say Hey (I Love You)"...



Genius.

And yes, the shirtless intern with the hot body and the cute smile doesn't hurt either.

“I Was Street-Smart, But Unfortunately the Street Was Rodeo Drive”

I'm back on the Windy City Queercast once again. This time discussing Pride, Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher and Michael Jackson.

I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'm sick of all the MJ business, too.

When someone at last night's Windy City Media Group company party asked me if I had watched the coverage of Michael Jackson's memorial, I screamed...

"Can we please put the son of a bitch in the ground
and be done with it?!? I mean, really!"

But maybe I'm a little harsh with it comes to MJ. Carrie Fisher certainly seems to have a soft spot for him, as you can read in her latest blog post.

And really, anybody who has read a copy of Carrie's book "Wishful Drinking" can't be all that bad, can they?